What Does The Bible Say About Self-Love?
How Self-Love Affects The Way You Show Up In Relationships
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Mainstream secular culture has popularized and redefined the concept of self-love, so it’s not typically associated with the gospel when we hear the term. When we think of the term “self-love,” we may ascribe it to ego, pride, and selfishness. However, the Bible also has a perspective on self-love that believers can explore and embrace, validating our human need for self-care and understanding.
When I think about the entirety of Scripture and its influence on believers, I see a path that leads to humility, selflessness, and sacrifice. Scriptures include: “Don’t look out only for your interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had”. Philippians 2:4, “No one should look out for their advantage, but they should look out for each other” 1 Corinthians 10:24, and “If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?” James 2:15-16. While these scriptures are not explicitly about love, there is a common thread of giving and serving others versus self, which expresses love. I believe God encourages us to show the love of God by extending ourselves to others. Nevertheless, is there an aspect of self-love in the Bible that we can explore?
When I reflect on the power of self-love as a believer, one Scripture that stands out is Mark 12:30-31: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ And the second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ These two commandments are the greatest of all. In this particular instance of Scripture, Jesus replies to a scribe’s question about the greatest commandment. In the middle of this text, we find the phrase, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If we are encouraged to love our neighbor as ourselves, what does it look like to love ourselves?
For believers to truly love ourselves, we must find assurance in our identity and understand what God says about us. Here are some scriptures that can provide this reassurance:
Psalm 139:14 ESV
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Luke 12:7 ESV
Even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.
1 John 4:19 ESV
We love because he first loved us.
Ephesians 2:10 ESV
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
These scriptures remind us of the confidence we can have in knowing we serve a God who loves us deeply, cares for us passionately, and is intentional in every aspect of our lives. Understanding this divine love is foundational to self-love. When you recognize that God accepts and deeply cares for you, embracing and loving yourself becomes more accessible. About my dating history, I realized, based on how I dated, that I didn’t truly love myself, and I didn’t love myself because I didn’t embrace God’s love for me. Something about the love of a father establishes your identity and breeds self-love. Moving from a position of self-love, you can love your neighbor right and develop healthy connections and habits, which in itself holds power.
Sade Solomon is a NYC-based social media personality and multi-hyphenate creator who boldly and fashionably ignites authentic and candid conversations on topics surrounding intercourse, singleness, and abstinence. After embarking on her journey of abstinence in 2013, Sade began openly sharing her life-changing commitment on various online platforms while enlightening and inspiring many through her journey. In her book, Ready, Set, Wait, Sade peels back the layers of truth about navigating singleness and abstinence as a single Christian woman. Her work and commentary have been featured by Good Morning America, Harper’s Bazaar, Essence, Black Love, and XO Necole.
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How Self-Love Affects The Way You Show Up In Relationships was originally published on elev8.com